With the school year starting, I feel it is necessary to give a few tips on how to have a successful athletic season. These tips will work for any sport in which your child participates. Sports can be a great learning tool, however, it will take effort from parents, coaches, and student-athletes for that to happen. So, in the first of a three part series I will address the parents.
1. Support Your Child- Unless you have to work, there is an emergency, or you are sick, there is no excuse for missing a sporting event your child is participating in. When I played, it always brought a sense of comfort to see my parents before the game started. As a coach, I noticed that my players always played harder when they knew their dad or mom was in the crowd. This support is something that is valuable and will never be forgotten by your child. Please, make sure to put anything you have going on aside for the two to three hours your child will be playing their game. They may not thank you in the moment, but they notice and appreciate you for it.
2. Support the Coach- The job of a coach is not an easy one. They have to manage the attitudes and/or egos of their players. At the same time, they need to make sure they have a proper gameplan in place for each game. Most importantly, they have to make sure that the players are successful where it matter most; in the classroom. That is plenty to deal with. As parents, you should do your job to make that easy as possible. You will disagree with some decisions the coach makes during games. You may not like the amount of playing time that your child is getting. However, you should never voice these gripes in front of your child. Your child will not show their coach respect unless you do. Therefore, I recommend discussing issues and/or concerns you may have with the coach in private. Public confrontations with the coach can be damaging to your reputation among other coaches, and correspondingly hinder your child in their future endeavors
3. Be Realistic- On every team there is a pecking order. Some players are more talented than others and playing time is given based on that. You need to be realistic about the skill level of your child relative to that of other players on the team. Unless he/she is in a league that requires everyone to play, they may not get the playing time you expect. Instead of pacifying their complaints, or voicing yours, try talking to them about why they are not getting playing time. Are they playing hard in practice? Are they attentive? What are they doing to improve their game? Those three things alone can help a player get time where they normally would not. Acting like they are entitled to playing time simply because they are on the team will not.
4. Learn From Losing- Handling adversity and failure is one of the biggest learning tools that come from sports. Dealing with these things in sports, will help your child as they progress through school, and even adulthood. However, they can not learn from hardship by having excuses made whenever these situations come about. That can have the same effect on them in life and they will become excuse makers. Last year, my team at the Boys and Girls Club won a tournament game against a team that beat us by thirty points in the regular season. Walking out of the gym, I overheard a mother from the other team tell her son, "They did not beat you guys, the refs gave them the game." We won by thirteen points, and there was not much doubt about who was going to win throughout the game. It was extremely hurtful to hear because it simply contributes to the notion that we are not in control of our own destiny. Children do not have to correct mistakes or work to be better, just blame someone else for your failure. We may not realize it, but those types of lessons can come back to haunt the child as he/she gets older. Instead, ask him/her what they could do differently or improve upon? Do not give them excuses as a cop out, because they will be thirty year-olds, and still doing that.
5. Encourage The Child- Any athlete is his/her own worst critic. Between the coach, and their own personal thoughts, a player gets beat up enough, so there is no need for you to do that. Instead, be a sounding board for the player. Let them vent, and express their feelings to you. When they have a bad game, the last thing they need is to come home and get brow beat by their parents. Should they choose to talk about it, just listen, offer some encouragement (not excuses), and move on. They will appreciate you for that more than you might realize.
These are just a few tips for a parent to have a successful season. You all play a very vital part in the success of your child, be it positive or negative. Hopefully with these few tips, you will be a positive force as the sports seasons start. In the next edition I will have tips for the coaches. Talk to you then.
I'm Jimmy L. Wilson, Jr. and I approve this message.
Jimmy L. Wilson, Jr. is a writer that enjoys watching, playing, and talking about sports. He coaches basketball at the Boys and Girls Club of Lansing. You can visit his blog at mrwilson42.blogspot.com for thoughts on current sports events. Follow him on twitter @JimmyLWilsonJr, and feel free to email any feedback to him at jimmyl.wilsonjr@gmail.com.
1. Support Your Child- Unless you have to work, there is an emergency, or you are sick, there is no excuse for missing a sporting event your child is participating in. When I played, it always brought a sense of comfort to see my parents before the game started. As a coach, I noticed that my players always played harder when they knew their dad or mom was in the crowd. This support is something that is valuable and will never be forgotten by your child. Please, make sure to put anything you have going on aside for the two to three hours your child will be playing their game. They may not thank you in the moment, but they notice and appreciate you for it.
2. Support the Coach- The job of a coach is not an easy one. They have to manage the attitudes and/or egos of their players. At the same time, they need to make sure they have a proper gameplan in place for each game. Most importantly, they have to make sure that the players are successful where it matter most; in the classroom. That is plenty to deal with. As parents, you should do your job to make that easy as possible. You will disagree with some decisions the coach makes during games. You may not like the amount of playing time that your child is getting. However, you should never voice these gripes in front of your child. Your child will not show their coach respect unless you do. Therefore, I recommend discussing issues and/or concerns you may have with the coach in private. Public confrontations with the coach can be damaging to your reputation among other coaches, and correspondingly hinder your child in their future endeavors
3. Be Realistic- On every team there is a pecking order. Some players are more talented than others and playing time is given based on that. You need to be realistic about the skill level of your child relative to that of other players on the team. Unless he/she is in a league that requires everyone to play, they may not get the playing time you expect. Instead of pacifying their complaints, or voicing yours, try talking to them about why they are not getting playing time. Are they playing hard in practice? Are they attentive? What are they doing to improve their game? Those three things alone can help a player get time where they normally would not. Acting like they are entitled to playing time simply because they are on the team will not.
4. Learn From Losing- Handling adversity and failure is one of the biggest learning tools that come from sports. Dealing with these things in sports, will help your child as they progress through school, and even adulthood. However, they can not learn from hardship by having excuses made whenever these situations come about. That can have the same effect on them in life and they will become excuse makers. Last year, my team at the Boys and Girls Club won a tournament game against a team that beat us by thirty points in the regular season. Walking out of the gym, I overheard a mother from the other team tell her son, "They did not beat you guys, the refs gave them the game." We won by thirteen points, and there was not much doubt about who was going to win throughout the game. It was extremely hurtful to hear because it simply contributes to the notion that we are not in control of our own destiny. Children do not have to correct mistakes or work to be better, just blame someone else for your failure. We may not realize it, but those types of lessons can come back to haunt the child as he/she gets older. Instead, ask him/her what they could do differently or improve upon? Do not give them excuses as a cop out, because they will be thirty year-olds, and still doing that.
5. Encourage The Child- Any athlete is his/her own worst critic. Between the coach, and their own personal thoughts, a player gets beat up enough, so there is no need for you to do that. Instead, be a sounding board for the player. Let them vent, and express their feelings to you. When they have a bad game, the last thing they need is to come home and get brow beat by their parents. Should they choose to talk about it, just listen, offer some encouragement (not excuses), and move on. They will appreciate you for that more than you might realize.
These are just a few tips for a parent to have a successful season. You all play a very vital part in the success of your child, be it positive or negative. Hopefully with these few tips, you will be a positive force as the sports seasons start. In the next edition I will have tips for the coaches. Talk to you then.
I'm Jimmy L. Wilson, Jr. and I approve this message.
Jimmy L. Wilson, Jr. is a writer that enjoys watching, playing, and talking about sports. He coaches basketball at the Boys and Girls Club of Lansing. You can visit his blog at mrwilson42.blogspot.com for thoughts on current sports events. Follow him on twitter @JimmyLWilsonJr, and feel free to email any feedback to him at jimmyl.wilsonjr@gmail.com.
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