1. The Historian- This one is pretty much universal when it comes to this group of people. Ask a Michigan fan about what is happening present day, and you will get a ton of remarks about the past. During the last few Michigan State-Michigan games, we will be having conversations in person and on social networking. As soon as mention is made to Michigan State winning the game we are watching, they will quote the overall record in the rivalry. This is part of their delusion. They want you to think that anything that is happening in the present does not matter. This is the reason that coming into the State game they have been saying "State will not win again because they can't beat us this year. History proves that." They have been wrong the last three years saying that, and the thought here is that they will be again. Do not let this delusional Michigan fan get in your head and make you believe history is all that matters. He definitely will try to do so.
2. The Quote Machine- This guy right here is absolutely hilarious. He wakes up every morning, and right after reading the book of whatever religion he is a part of, he reads from the Book of Bo Schembechler. Then, he gets on Facebook or Twitter, and puts the quote of the day from that book. Should the quote of the day from there not be profound enough, he will get on the "Support Brady Hoke As Coach" page on Facebook, and take a quote or picture from there. Again, absolutely funny stuff to me. How about you come up with an original idea, and stop spewing quotes from other people. That junk is corny, and makes it look like you can not think on your own. Do not let this delusional Michigan fan get in your head, and make you think the quotes are all that matter. He will definitely try to do so.
3. Social Network Stalker- This dude is not now, nor has he ever, been a Michigan student. Yet, he is Facebook friends with current players from all sports. Now, I can understand loyalty to a school that you did not go to. Can not knock you for that, because I have not gone to Michigan State(yet). However, to be almost thirty years old, and friends on Facebook with guys who play for your favorite college is slightly creepy. Not only are you their friends, but you like the pictures and statuses they post? That makes you almost certifiable. There will not be a caution to other people to not let this Michigan fan get into your head. Most people reading this are not crazy enough to send out these types of friend requests. However, if you are a Michigan fan, and find yourself in this predicament, please either unfriend the players, or seek professional help.
4. MSU Is Irrelevant Guy- This guy is well represented in the 99.6 percent. He will spend all football off-season talking about how irrelevant Michigan State is. He will tell you that MSU is their third rival behind Ohio State and Notre Dame. Yet, as soon as the season starts, he is watching MSU games like a hawk and commenting on how they are looking. All the games that MSU plays against common opponents will be seen as a barometer for how UofM will play against that team. This guy will actually cheer openly for whatever team MSU is playing against. This happens before the MSU-UofM game, and after. Yet, scroll down their timeline, and you do not see any references to OSU or ND. That makes it hard for me to believe that MSU is as irrelevant as you claim. They may be seen in the eyes of some, as your third rival, but constantly mentioning them and they are irrelevant to you is delusional. Do not let this guy get into your head. He will definitely try to do so.
5. Blame It ALL on Rich Rod Guy- This guy is my absolute favorite. Not only does he blame every loss, or bad play made during a game on Rich Rodriguez, he blames all his personal issues on him. Wife or girlfriend leaves him, it is Rich Rod's fault. Late for work, it is Rich Rod's fault. Kids get a bad grade, it is Rich Rod's fault. This dude really needs to get a grip honestly. The same players that they blame Rich Rod for getting when they lose, are the same players that win games for them. So, are the wins Rich Rod's fault too? Now, I will acknowledge, his coming there was a hit to the program. However, he has been gone two years. Time to stop blaming every loss, Denard Robinson interception, and your breakfast being nasty on him. It is corny, and shows your delusion. Do not let this guy get into your head. He will definitely do so.
Well, there are about five more different delusional guys in relation to Michigan fans, but I believe, I have highlighted the most prevalent. By the time the Michigan State-Michigan game is over, you will see how delusional they are. They are high on the hog right now, and expecting a Wolverine blowout. That is absolutely absurd, and personally I can not wait to tell them about themselves after the game. Until then, I hope this has shed some light on the different types of delusion that I deal with in regards to UofM fans. Next time you see a conversation between myself, and one of them it should make a little more sense.
Hope this was enough attention for you guys. Have a great day, and Go Green.
I'm Jimmy L. Wilson, Jr. and I approve this message.
Follow me on Twitter @JimmyLWilsonJr
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